Career Development

Risky Business. Don’t Go Back.

Your stomach? Been there, done that. It didn’t work, don’t do it again.

Conscience: “You really shouldn’t be doing this. It didn’t work before, why would it work the second time?”

You: “Well, let’s give it another go. Maybe things will be different this time. We have to make sure that they are. It will all work out fine.”

Cartoon of a man running, a sign resign job

Some of us have experienced this in our personal lives, others may have experienced it in our professional lives – there are even a few poor souls out there who experience this loop over and over again. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Just as returning to an ex-partner is often ill-advised, accepting a counter offer from your company after you have resigned is equally bad judgement. It is universally recognised that once you have decided to leave a company, there is no going back. No amount of persuasion, financial incentive or extra management responsibility should be able to persuade you otherwise.

However, it is ever so easy to be lured into the emotional trap. After the last few months of hell in your company, culminating in your resignation, suddenly they are being nice to you again, telling you how essential you are and how they can’t do without you. This is designed to make you think twice, and it plants a seed of doubt in all but the strongest of minds.

exit sign with a cartoon man leaving the place

 

You never knew that they cared about you so much? Well, I’ll let you into a secret - they don’t. Just as a shocked partner might insist that they “really love you” at the point of no return, so might a company do anything to persuade you to stay, at least until they have found a suitable replacement.

89% of people that accept a counter-offer leave within the next year. You have broken the bond of trust and, like a jilted partner, the company will very seldom forgive. Once a trust is broken, it will never be fully restored. Nagging doubts will always linger.

So, when you resign, be resolute in your intentions. Do it in writing. Don’t enter into discussions about a potential rethink. Be consistent in what you tell management and your colleagues. You are moving on; it happens all the time, such is life. Don’t let it get personal, remain professional and make a smooth transition to your next role. You’ll be respected as someone that knows their own mind, and you won’t be burning any bridges.

The decision to leave part of your life behind is never an easy one. Embarking into an unknown future is a far more difficult path than keeping the status quo.

Yes, making a change is risky. However, how much riskier are the consequences of deciding to stay?

Written by Lee Narraway

If you would like to discuss this then please get in touch with me and leave your comments:

Phone: 01925 747 712 Email: lnarraway@procorerec.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/leenarraway Website: www.procorerec.com

When Was Your Forrest Gump Moment?

Whenever I come to a moment in my life when I realize that something has to change, I remember the scene from the film Forrest Gump where he finally stops his trans-America mega-marathon run.

Forrest Gump running movie

In the film, he was running to forget the past hurts in his life, but the metaphor could equally be extended to anyone’s treadmill. We set ourselves on a certain course and often it takes a jolt to the system to make us realize that we need to stop and change direction. Keeping running is the easy option – deciding to stop and change something takes real courage.

When Forrest Gump stopped and decided to get on with his life, he did exactly that. There was no way that he could know how his life was going to work out after he stopped running, he probably worked through every possible scenario in his head multiple times, but until he stopped, he couldn’t be sure which path his life would take. When he was running, he was running. When he stopped, he had to do something different instead.

At these times of change in my life, I have found that there is always a short moment of pause when you stop doing something before you start doing something else. When you quit your job, there is always a small pause before you start a new one. When your wife becomes pregnant, there are the months of pregnancy before the baby arrives. You might decide to go an a diet, but there is always that pause before your first “proper” day on the new regime.

Forrest Gump movie Tom Hanks sit bench

It is that moment of pause that dictates your new direction. If you have thought enough about your situation, about what you want to change in your life and why you want to change it, then the way ahead should be clear. If you haven’t dedicated the time to think before you stop, it will often be the case that you could run off into blind alleys, run around in circles or just stand transfixed by the complexity of the decision before you.

No, when you stop running, it is useful to have an idea of your new direction. You don’t have to have the exact co-ordinates and you can sill alter your path on the way, but a rough heading is helpful.

Forrest did a few laps of the US to work out his problems. Before you think about making a change in life, it is always worth thinking through the possibilities and ramifications first. When you do stop running, it is vital that you have an idea of what you want to do next, otherwise it will be very hard to start running again, let alone in the right direction.

Written by Lee Narraway and edited by Paul Drury

If you would like to discuss this then please get in touch with me and leave your comments:

Phone: 01925 747 712 Email: lnarraway@procorerec.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/leenarraway Website: www.procorerec.com