Risky Business. Don’t Go Back.

Your stomach? Been there, done that. It didn’t work, don’t do it again.

Conscience: “You really shouldn’t be doing this. It didn’t work before, why would it work the second time?”

You: “Well, let’s give it another go. Maybe things will be different this time. We have to make sure that they are. It will all work out fine.”

Cartoon of a man running, a sign resign job

Some of us have experienced this in our personal lives, others may have experienced it in our professional lives – there are even a few poor souls out there who experience this loop over and over again. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Just as returning to an ex-partner is often ill-advised, accepting a counter offer from your company after you have resigned is equally bad judgement. It is universally recognised that once you have decided to leave a company, there is no going back. No amount of persuasion, financial incentive or extra management responsibility should be able to persuade you otherwise.

However, it is ever so easy to be lured into the emotional trap. After the last few months of hell in your company, culminating in your resignation, suddenly they are being nice to you again, telling you how essential you are and how they can’t do without you. This is designed to make you think twice, and it plants a seed of doubt in all but the strongest of minds.

exit sign with a cartoon man leaving the place


You never knew that they cared about you so much? Well, I’ll let you into a secret - they don’t. Just as a shocked partner might insist that they “really love you” at the point of no return, so might a company do anything to persuade you to stay, at least until they have found a suitable replacement.

89% of people that accept a counter-offer leave within the next year. You have broken the bond of trust and, like a jilted partner, the company will very seldom forgive. Once a trust is broken, it will never be fully restored. Nagging doubts will always linger.

So, when you resign, be resolute in your intentions. Do it in writing. Don’t enter into discussions about a potential rethink. Be consistent in what you tell management and your colleagues. You are moving on; it happens all the time, such is life. Don’t let it get personal, remain professional and make a smooth transition to your next role. You’ll be respected as someone that knows their own mind, and you won’t be burning any bridges.

The decision to leave part of your life behind is never an easy one. Embarking into an unknown future is a far more difficult path than keeping the status quo.

Yes, making a change is risky. However, how much riskier are the consequences of deciding to stay?

Written by Lee Narraway

If you would like to discuss this then please get in touch with me and leave your comments:

Phone: 01925 747 712 Email: LinkedIn: Website:

The Difference Between Worrying and Caring

Pressure is an ever-present factor in our working life. It would be easier to handle if everything were under our control, but there are so many times when we are at the mercy of events. The future in such a situation is rarely clear and you have two basic choices: Worrying about the outcome, or caring about the outcome. There is a big difference between the two. woman with a box loose job

Of course, you can choose to do nothing, but for the sake of this article, let’s say that this situation is something of huge importance to you. Let’s say you have heard that 100 people are going to be made redundant in your company. Your department have been told those scary words: “you are at risk.”

There will be those who will immediately worry about the potential consequences. They become terrified about losing their jobs, they go into their shells and start to take the “safe” business decisions rather than the right ones.

They spread fear and negative energy wherever they go, gossiping, speculating, feeding on any opportunity to make themselves feel a little better. A colleague didn’t hit their sales target? “Good, maybe they will be fired instead of me.”

Worrying is a stealthy emotion – you think that you are being productive by thinking about the potential situation, but it rarely leads to action…. In these circumstances, the worries merely get deeper and deeper.

Then, there are those whose first thoughts are caring. They wonder who might be worst affected and what they can do to help their colleagues in the situation. For them, action is going to be the solution to their problems. They think positively and consider what they can do to influence the situation.

frustrated young business man loose job

They don’t lose sight of the opportunities in the situation and continue to hope for the best. They will be supportive of their colleagues and in return be supported by them. In a difficult situation, they will stand out as being the glue that binds their team together. Nine times out of ten, they will not be the ones to lose their jobs.

Worry is fear-based. It is a projection of negative energy. Caring, on the other hand, is a projection of positive energy. When you care about situations or people, you're hopeful that things will get better. When you worry about them, you're afraid they won't.

Clinical psychologist Chad LeJeune, Ph.D, talks about the idea of worrying versus caring in his book, ‘The Worry Trap’ “Worrying is an attempt to exert control over the future by thinking about it,” whereas caring is taking action.

“When we are caring for someone or something, we do the things that support or advance the best interests of the person or thing that we care about.”

In another example, worrying about your finances does nothing but give you sleepless nights. Caring about your finances means being proactively about creating budgets, paying bills and saving for future issues.

May we should all care a little more and worry a little less!

If you would like to discuss this then please get in touch with me and leave your comments:

Lee Narraway

Phone: 01925 747 712 Email: LinkedIn: Website: